my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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