Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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