I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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