Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I can't put those talents on a resume
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
