We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
