Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Hippo gnu deer
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
