if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
