It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
