So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
