Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
