You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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