she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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