he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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