You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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