I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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