He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
