I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
