I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
