we're blogging at a bar
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
