shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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