Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
