And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize