i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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