Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
