I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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