we're blogging at a bar
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
