JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
