so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
