I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The adults are the big ones right?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize