She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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