If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
