We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
