My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
do herpes really smell.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize