You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
