Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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