the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
a search helicopter?!
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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