He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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