Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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