yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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