So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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