How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I am midnight drunk by noon
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
