You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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