so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
