chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
