hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My penis needs a shock collar
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
