this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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