he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
