how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Vodka?
Forever.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Randomize
