guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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