He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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