That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
