so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
