Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
