oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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