only you would photoshop your dick
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize