If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
