Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize