I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
