I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
there is another microwave in the elevator.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize