He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
