He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
