Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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