If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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