I just pynch a tree in the face
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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