He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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